For the last few years, I have loved CeCe Winan's song "The Alabaster Box." The song embodies so much of my love for God and my willingness to surrender all to Him.
On December 15th, 2024, my birthday, worship had just concluded at church, and I had settled into my seat. I quickly wanted to look up some of the scriptures about the alabaster box because I had been singing it more and more in the car, and I wanted to know exactly what the scriptures said.
As I read through the words, word for word, I heard the pastor saying the same exact words, and I was shocked. I thought to myself, Could this entire sermon be about the alabaster box? Are they going to sing the song? And yes, the entire sermon was about the alabaster box, and they sang the song. I sat there, melting into the seat, filled with awe and wonder at the way God had given me this special gift on my birthday, blessing me in a way only He could.
To me, my alabaster box goes back to Annie Louise. In 2016, I lost Annie Louise in a miscarriage at 9 weeks pregnant. She had died at 7 and a half weeks. At 3 a.m., it broke my heart to place her in a box, kneel, and lay her down at God's feet, saying once again, "God, I trust Your plan."
It was so much more than just a loss. That night, I laid down not only my child but my greatest desire, my deepest longing—to have more children. I gave it to God. I placed my most precious dream in His hands, and I said, "Your will be done." That moment of surrender was my alabaster box—the place where my will, my hopes, and my heart were laid bare before Him.
The lyrics say, “You weren’t there the night He found me. You did not feel what I felt when He wrapped His loving arms around me, and you don’t know the cost of the oil in my alabaster box.”
God met me that night—at 3 a.m. He met me in my grief, in my surrender, in the depths of my pain. He led me to Isaiah 49:23-25, where He promised, “Kings shall be your nursing fathers, and queens your nursing mothers.” In that moment, He wrapped me in His love, and He spoke directly to my soul. He knew the cost. He knew what I had laid down, what I had surrendered. Only He truly understands that cost, but that’s how much I trust Him.
That’s my alabaster box—my deepest surrender, my greatest loss, and my unwavering trust in God.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQgr01QKlFY
