Amen! 100th Post!

I have the BEST news for my 100th post! Jamie has a job!!! We are so excited about his new job, and we are so thankful to Jesus for his blessings. We have been waiting for this for a long, long time. There were many times when I wondered just how long God would want to keep us in the desert, but I knew it was for His glory. I took comfort in that. I chose to be apart of his plan even when I didn't understand. Also, I'm proud of my husband and our marriage. We never let this job issue be an issue that would cause walls to build in our marriage. Even when I had days of exhaust, I kept my faith in God's plan and in my husband. Through it all, God met our needs through our family and friends. Just like the birds, our needs were met!

Sad but Happy

I've had many unanswered prayers so far this year, but I'm so happy for what I do have. I have a Savior who loves me and has plans to use me to advance His kingdom. I have a husband who LOVES me. I have a beautiful daughter who fills my world with joy. There are so many things I have to be thankful for each day! I use those thoughts to get me through rough times. I know I'm never alone! God is always, always next to me!

Busy Bees

Summer life before Lilianna was always boring. Summer life with Lilianna has me as busy as a bee, but it's a good kind of busy.

The Chair

I haven't made a post in awhile. I haven't made a post because it means I have to sit on "the chair" again. "The chair?" Yes, "the chair" I sat on night and day in the computer room while I was finishing all of my work for NBPTS. "The chair" that carried all my stress and burdened my back, which still aches when I sit down.

Another reason why I haven't sat on "the chair" is because I have been enjoying life again. I feel like a mom again to Lilianna, and it means the world to me. Everyday, I find myself consumed with busy, fun activities, and I'm loving it. There was one day before the business of summer that I worried that summer boredom was going to consume me, but that has not happened. A two year old constantly surprises me, and there is never a dull moment.

Yes. I'm happy.

However.....ugh, I hate to add a "however" at this wonderful time, but there is a however. :(

For five years, I have been waiting for a very specific prayer request to be answered.

At my last bible study, we learned about "discontent." We are reading Stuck by Jennie Allen.

 The topic wouldn't leave my mind, so I emailed my GFN group a long message. This is some of it.

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Wow! Thursday night's topic was so deep that I can't get it off my mind. I felt I needed more supplemental materials, so I have spent a few hours surfing the web looking for the right message to help lead me to contentment. I found many websites that helped, but I did not find a particular message that I could copy and paste in this message that I felt the need to send. Then, I thought of this:  

ESL students go through five stages (I reviewed this for my NBPTS test.). 

1. Optimism

2. Culture Shock

3. Superficiality

4. Frustration

5. Acceptance

This totally relates to my spiritual life when it comes to praying about....-you guessed it-....Jamie's job. 

1. I felt optimism in 2008 when Jamie graduated and the economy was still rolling pretty well.2. I felt culture shock year after year when the economy kept crashing down, and the state of Arkansas kept pushing back plans to certify all PE coaching positions.3. I have been very superficial when I've "faked" being happy for others. 4 & 5. I go in and out of these two phases each school year.

But, here is what God says:

1: Optimism

Psalm 37:4 

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

2. Culture Shock

Romans 8:28 

And we know that for those who love God ALL things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

3. Superficial - I know I should be thankful, but sometimes I'm superficial. 

2 Corinthians 9:11 

You will be enriched in every way to be generous in every way, which through us will produce thanksgiving to God.

4. Frustration

1 Corinthians 10:10 

Nor grumble, as some of them did and were destroyed by the Destroyer.

(Thursday night we discussed if it's okay to be upset even if we shouldn't be upset. I think that is human nature. Jennie alluded to this when she wrote, "He wanted us to need him.")

5. Acceptance - Accepting God's Will

Philippians 4:10-13 

I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived your concern for me. You were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity. Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Jennie wrote, "While we compare and long and wait and ask and save and spend and flaunt and pretend and cry and whine and tear down and puff up and stare and wish and ignore and complain and demand and search and find...we miss something...we miss the most important thing...maybe we miss the only thing."

What do you think that is??? I think it is....

1 John 4:16 

So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.

I will choose to believe that ALL things work for the glory of God today because I know He loves me. Today I will not submit to discontent.

Am I preaching to myself? Yes, but it's like Beth Moore. She says she writes studies to find healing for herself. 

I'm also going to do last week's project. I'm going to celebrate someone's good news - I might even do it on Facebook. It's like the Good News book! Ha! That goes back to what we have said a few times about Facebook. :) 

Again, wow! Thursday night was so deep but so good for me! It called out to me and hasn't left my side. I needed this, and I'm so thankful for all of you! 

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So, what is my prayer request? Our family needs the job my wonderful husband deserves. He went to college, got a degree, and he's got his foot in the door, but he can't seem to get the job he deserves - the job he is really good at. Mostly, I think it's because of the economy and politics. However, it's really because this is where God has us. So, I'm going to get off "the chair" now and go sit in the "palm of His [God's] hand." I will not submit to discontent.

Why I Sing Continued...

I heard this song on the radio today, and it had me thinking a lot about what I said in the last post about meaning what I sing because Dad's healing never came, Brynlee's healing never came, and we still have dreams undone. The words in this song speak a hard truth, but it's a Godly response to our calling on Earth. I pray in every situation I ever face, I will remember this truth.   

                                                                       "Even If"

Sometimes all we have to hold on to
Is what we know is true of who You are.
So when the heartache hits like a hurricane
That could never change who You are.
And we trust in who You are

Even if the healing doesn't come
And life falls apart
And dreams are still undone
You are God You are good
Forever faithful One
Even if the healing
Even if the healing doesn't come

Lord we know Your ways are not our ways
So we set our faith in who You are
Even though You reign high above us
You tenderly love us We know Your heart
And we rest in who You are

However, there are many other reasons why I sing as well! 

I sing to praise the Lord for what I do have! 

I have my beautiful Lilianna who is talking up a storm lately. 

 I have my amazing husband who is the best father in the world. 

Also, I have my mom and mother-in-law, who are an amazing support system. They both love me so much!

Happy Mother's Day!!!

I LOVE YOU!!!

This weekend I'm having a great time, when I'm not typing for my NBPTS. :) 

Also, my mother-in-law sewed this adorable outfit for Lilianna, and she LOVES it. This is the only picture I had of her that was not blurry because she was full of energy last night when we went to see The Little Mermaid by ARTS Live Theatre. And, check out the jewelry Lilianna was wearing! That was made by our dear friend, Mrs. Hilda.
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Why I Sing

I had to share this...

I had to share this because my worship music helps me through difficult times in my life. When I was little, my dad used to record worship symposiums in Dallas.

At one of my favorite symposiums, they played this song. This is the first worship song I ever fell in love with.

Last year I was going through many of my dad's old video tapes used for editing, and I ran across the tape with this song! I was so excited! As an eight year old girl, I ran all over the house singing this song at the top of my lungs. I found myself doing the same thing again last year - well, I wasn't really running. I was just singing at the top of my lungs. :)

As a teenager, I learned the importance of meaning what you say when you sing worship songs. For example, when I sing, "It is Well With My Soul," I believe it should be well with my soul. How can you sing "10,000 Reasons" and not mean it? This is the same for, "How Great Thou Art," "All I Need is You," "Trust and Obey," "Shout to the Lord," and "In Christ Alone."

I have absorbed worship songs for 34 years. My mother sang them over me as a child, and I watched her sing on the worship team for years leading others into worship. The words of every song I have ever sang are written all over my heart. 

A few years after my dad was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, my father and I danced to this song in the living room. It's a memory I will cherish forever, and the last time I danced with my father.

When my dad died, I sang. When I had my first miscarriage, I sang. When I lost Brynlee, I sang. 

I sing because God uses it to heal me. 

When I'm sad, I sing. 

Tonight, I'm singing. 

Peekaboo and Poppies

These ten fingers and ten toes bless my heart immensely. Jamie and I were thrilled to receive this beautiful plate in the mail today. Mamie's Poppy Plates is a non-profit organization in Little Rock. They make these plates for parents who have had children born into the arms of Jesus. It definitely has warmed our hearts, and we will cherish it forever.

I want to thank Brandy and Chris still for their sweet donation in loving memory of Lillian and Waylon. 

Also, I was extremely blessed in April when the Editor-in-Chief for Peekaboo Magazine sent me a message and asked me if I'd be willing to share Brynlee's story. I was overwhelmingly blessed by the opportunity because I felt like this was one more way to fulfill one of the many purposes for Brynlee's life. I don't know all the ways God will use it, but I pray it touches many people's hearts and continues to bring Glory to God. 

Meanwhile, Lilianna has been sick again. This time she has an ear infection, but I enjoyed getting to hug her all day today and making up for some of the time I have spent time typing while working on my NBPTS certification. 

As you can tell, she loves her Snoopies. She is just like her daddy.
Happy early Mother's Day to me. Jamie bought me some new shoes since I'm trying to learn how to be a runner. I'm so slow right now! He even bought me really good running socks! Wish me luck - I'm going to need it!
So, I've been cooking a lot lately, and I enjoyed experimenting with this Pinterest idea. Unfortunately  Lilianna didn't like it, but she doesn't seem to like anything with corn meal right now.

  

I like this picture because we are finally starting to have warm weather. 

Yes, you can't see her head, but it's nice to see the sun. 

Have a warm week, 

Kim

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