The Chair

I haven't made a post in awhile. I haven't made a post because it means I have to sit on "the chair" again. "The chair?" Yes, "the chair" I sat on night and day in the computer room while I was finishing all of my work for NBPTS. "The chair" that carried all my stress and burdened my back, which still aches when I sit down.

Another reason why I haven't sat on "the chair" is because I have been enjoying life again. I feel like a mom again to Lilianna, and it means the world to me. Everyday, I find myself consumed with busy, fun activities, and I'm loving it. There was one day before the business of summer that I worried that summer boredom was going to consume me, but that has not happened. A two year old constantly surprises me, and there is never a dull moment.

Yes. I'm happy.

However.....ugh, I hate to add a "however" at this wonderful time, but there is a however. :(

For five years, I have been waiting for a very specific prayer request to be answered.

At my last bible study, we learned about "discontent." We are reading Stuck by Jennie Allen.

 The topic wouldn't leave my mind, so I emailed my GFN group a long message. This is some of it.

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Wow! Thursday night's topic was so deep that I can't get it off my mind. I felt I needed more supplemental materials, so I have spent a few hours surfing the web looking for the right message to help lead me to contentment. I found many websites that helped, but I did not find a particular message that I could copy and paste in this message that I felt the need to send. Then, I thought of this:  

ESL students go through five stages (I reviewed this for my NBPTS test.). 

1. Optimism

2. Culture Shock

3. Superficiality

4. Frustration

5. Acceptance

This totally relates to my spiritual life when it comes to praying about....-you guessed it-....Jamie's job. 

1. I felt optimism in 2008 when Jamie graduated and the economy was still rolling pretty well.2. I felt culture shock year after year when the economy kept crashing down, and the state of Arkansas kept pushing back plans to certify all PE coaching positions.3. I have been very superficial when I've "faked" being happy for others. 4 & 5. I go in and out of these two phases each school year.

But, here is what God says:

1: Optimism

Psalm 37:4 

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

2. Culture Shock

Romans 8:28 

And we know that for those who love God ALL things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

3. Superficial - I know I should be thankful, but sometimes I'm superficial. 

2 Corinthians 9:11 

You will be enriched in every way to be generous in every way, which through us will produce thanksgiving to God.

4. Frustration

1 Corinthians 10:10 

Nor grumble, as some of them did and were destroyed by the Destroyer.

(Thursday night we discussed if it's okay to be upset even if we shouldn't be upset. I think that is human nature. Jennie alluded to this when she wrote, "He wanted us to need him.")

5. Acceptance - Accepting God's Will

Philippians 4:10-13 

I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived your concern for me. You were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity. Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Jennie wrote, "While we compare and long and wait and ask and save and spend and flaunt and pretend and cry and whine and tear down and puff up and stare and wish and ignore and complain and demand and search and find...we miss something...we miss the most important thing...maybe we miss the only thing."

What do you think that is??? I think it is....

1 John 4:16 

So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.

I will choose to believe that ALL things work for the glory of God today because I know He loves me. Today I will not submit to discontent.

Am I preaching to myself? Yes, but it's like Beth Moore. She says she writes studies to find healing for herself. 

I'm also going to do last week's project. I'm going to celebrate someone's good news - I might even do it on Facebook. It's like the Good News book! Ha! That goes back to what we have said a few times about Facebook. :) 

Again, wow! Thursday night was so deep but so good for me! It called out to me and hasn't left my side. I needed this, and I'm so thankful for all of you! 

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So, what is my prayer request? Our family needs the job my wonderful husband deserves. He went to college, got a degree, and he's got his foot in the door, but he can't seem to get the job he deserves - the job he is really good at. Mostly, I think it's because of the economy and politics. However, it's really because this is where God has us. So, I'm going to get off "the chair" now and go sit in the "palm of His [God's] hand." I will not submit to discontent.